Blinding Intensitee

MAKING WAVES

2008-04-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

When I was afraid of going after what I wanted,
The water was still
Still as if a crystal skin held it in place
When I finally got the strength to make baby steps
The water still was still
Impatient! Where was the desired effect?
It came a little late but when I saw the ripples,
The light of the sun rose inside my heart
And hope was rekindled
Rekindled like a fire
Now I’m focused on the object of my desire
I’m in full pursuit and I will not tire
As I watch the ripples grow,
My faith becomes solid and I know,
I know I’m going to make waves
I can see me making waves

JINXED JANUARY

2008-01-20T07:07:00.000-08:00

Why do you bring tension, fear, worry?
Yes, January, I need you to hurry
Pack up the rest of your days
Be gone, end already!
All i can do is pray for better days
Get out!Don't make me shout
The country's ablaze

CRITICISM , CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

2007-06-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

Constructive criticism is....
Telling a person what they did wrong
And what they can do to better it

Constructive criticism isn't hating!

STIGMA

2007-03-05T21:01:00.000-08:00

Has he got sores on his skin?
Has he got lethal green skin ,
Purple colour of the eyes?
Shame on you and your eyes
For acting the way you do
Have you got a heart or a 'shoe'?
Why d'you stand at a distance,
Why are you grimacing this very instance?
Is it because you don't relate?
Unaffected that's why you hate

APPRECIATION

2007-03-01T23:02:00.000-08:00

Appreciation
Is an incredible source of motivation.
That recognition
of a pleasant quality or that little gift
Brings about the ignition
of the limitless power of creativity
A passionate fire so intense
It opens one mind to new possibilities
We never in our wildest dreams could see

EARTH MUSIC, HUMAN MUSIC AND MY EXPRESSION.

2007-02-01T05:11:00.001-08:00

Disappointment! I hate it when it comes along.Disappointment like death can stop you dead in your track.The good news is that unlike death you can do something about it. You don't have to let it demoralise you, you don't have to let be a barricade to your hopes and dreams,your efforts,your goals.

If i had written this yesterday when i was just from a disappointing audition, i would have clearly lost the point.I felt lost. I felt like i didn't belong to that particular genre that they were looking for (afrofusion) or anyother for that matter.Somebody asked me what kind of music i do and i said the first thing that was on my mind-"I dont know." Later i thought that was a stupid answer...now i don't. It can be Afrofusion-neosoulrnbsoftrockish or not. What i do know is that my music is earthmusic ,human music and it's an expression of who i am.

Those dropped from that audition were told they could come back the next day and prove they were afrofusion artists.I might not fit in that category .What will i sing?...

I'm not going , I don't have to
If they are not looking for me
Then somebody else is
And that's who I'm looking for

Maybe you're thinking , that this chap right here, really knows how to console himself. I'm looking for somebody who is going to appreciate my 'art' for what it is ,not change it ,maybe better it. One thing's for sure, God knows why I'm doing what I'm doing .Maybe it's for the music ,maybe it's for a greater course.I believe I'm on the right track of my life's journey , my destiny.

I am a person looking for appreciation for who I am.

LETHAL EMOTION

2007-01-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

This river of bile flows recklessly...

Have you got no respect
Dont you call them to expect
you?You'd rather come crude
You have never been refined ,rude
you've come to leave gorges in my heart
your regular, you've come to reck atleast hurt
Intentions like a poisoned dart.
nightmarish cat, I'm not that little rat
well i used to be,
drowning so often in that bitter sea
withdrawal symptoms from your flow river,
had me shaking,cold ,that icy shiver
River of bile let us see
If I'll let you flow another mile in me

Let no lethal emotions flow in you.

LITTLE THINGS

2007-01-11T06:00:00.001-08:00

I want to be blind to the little things
little invisible things that i shouldnt be seeing
little things that i shouldnt be stressing about
matters that dont deserve that much attention
and that degree of intense thinking
Do you worry yourself nuts about that harmless
gecko behind that picture on your wall?
Or do you give yourself ulcers because
somebody said something?
I want to let those little harmless things pass,
let those little invisible things not worth scrutinizing
not get to me.

Happy new year!

DAY DREAM

2006-10-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

I stand by the shores
looking at the touch of gold
beautiful ball sinking to the west
It was a long day now it's off to it's nest
now out there in the distance i see
surely my mind isn't teasing me
she rises from the sea
and walks all the way to me
Is this really true,or just but a few
of those crazy daydreams past noon
she's the beautiful lady from the lagoon
.....I feel a gentle breeze
and my heart stills in a freeze
for she is nowhere i look right,left
the wind is responsible of theft

EMOTIONAL SECURITY

2006-10-26T06:26:00.001-07:00

Build a fortress around your heart
let not every word spoken get you hurt
put on your security like you would a shirt
and watch out for those words like poisoned darts
some comments are stupid just let them pass
do that or tongue lash and make everything worse

BRAIN IN THE DRAIN

2006-10-25T05:09:00.000-07:00

How do you gain by committing your brain and energy to bring misery into someone's life? Exactly how do you gain by seeing someone in pain if you are not plain insane? Time wasted will never be recovered and a brain is aterrible thing to waste, so invest this two wisely and positively for what goes around comes around...

Did i seat
and let you intromit
chaos into my life
will i just seat
and let you comit
your energy to ruining my life
I have been silent as you are busy
I'm aware you think i am easy
prey to occupy your forever idol, sleazy
mind,keep at it and you will find
how vain, how your thinking is behind
Piece of advice from a brother to the insane,
stop this nonsense your brain is in the drain

A brain is a terrible thing to waste...get it out of the drain!

BELITTLED

2006-10-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

It's hard to exercise power and control in your life when what you have been exercising is powerlessness and lack of control. When you are not to keen on handling the steering wheel in your life, you will find yourself under the control of situations and other people who ought not to be in the driver's seat. Why do you enslave yourself to others by giving all the love, respect and authority you should keep for yourself? Read on deeeear reader............

Belitlled is how i feel
Heavens let me keep still
It's against my will
To keep chasing after you
Longing after you
Dreaming of you....
What happened to control?
Walked away took a stroll
I made a promise to myself
Will no longer be your little "elf"
My weakness is your strength
And you will wait for whatever length
Of time for me to come chasing
A matter of time and I’ll come racing
Your eyes will smile, you will be pleased
That my desperation has got me leashed
I will love you with my all
And receive no affection at all
i will keep on hoping
But that will result to nothing
That cycle sad but true
Was real when i was hooked on you
Belittled is what i feel
Won’t last for an eternity this that i feel
It’s been days and I’ve been still
i know time will heal

Communication is two-way traffic and I would appreciate it if you commented. So what’s on your mind?

WHAT DO YOU DO?

2006-10-13T04:54:00.000-07:00

Living in a harsh environment isn’t an easy thing. When I say harsh environment you are probably thinking about some spot in the Sahara where the sun is as hot as an incinerator close by during the day and the temperatures drop drastically in the night, and the fierce winds are cold and ruthless.

No place is unbearable on earth where there is a peace and understanding be it in the North Pole or in the middle of the Kalahari. Where there is love, there is harmony and smooth sailing in this journey called life.

Human beings are social beings and where there is misunderstanding and conflict, the silent treatment and the ‘coldwar’ might as well be a miserable place to be in, hell on earth.

So how do you live in a place like that , where warm blooded human beings would rather act like cold blooded reptiles and however much you try to be cordial and friendly prejudice has got the best of the situation and you are the ‘foul fiend’ to them yet they don’t know you.

Do you keep smiling and talking to the walls {because the people might as well be absent from a room}? Communication is a two way traffic and you are not getting any feedback, so what do you do, keep people- pleasing hoping to endear yourself to them?I don’t think so. tell me?

NEW DAY

2006-09-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

Five days after my 22nd birthday i received a priceless belated gift ,courage.
I finally got the guts to burst the bubble , that was my comfort zone , and took baby steps to my new found drive and determination.This blessing came in the disguise of being turned down in a star search competition that i wanted desperately to get into.I got nothing that I dreamt of but a couple of minutes with a judge who was quick to classify my vocal ability as 'below average'.
It wasn't easyto digest this verdict.After some quiet time and a text message from a buddy , I made up my mindthere was no turning back in my musical journey or in my life in general.There was no way that I was getting back to the days of my bathroom singing in the safety of my home.I was not just about to become that little garden snail so quick to get back to his shell just because the outside environment wasn't as comfortable as the inside.My buddy's text read
"...But i also believe that since you have only one chance to live, you should live it to the fullest not hide behind hight walls and electric fences".

with those words, i set my mind to get the most and become better in every little thing that i do, be it singing, conversing with a friend or college. i am trying to be fired up for this life and everything that i come across regardless of the results. let me leave you with a question i was asked: "what are you doing today to make it count?"

"it's a new day because i am a better person than i was yesterday and i'm looking forward to a beautiful day."

ARE YOU FREE?

2006-07-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

Freedom! What is freedom?Dictionary.com defines freedom as 'the condition of being free of restraints' or 'liberty of the person from slavery detention or oppression'.My defination is something close to that, freedom is the ability to go after what you desire without any limitations or restrictions.Kenya attained it's independence in 1963 and so we are free (thats what we say) . After attaining 18 years a couple of years back, I am now an "independent" personality with the "freedom'' to make my own decisions and so that's the case.And so if i am really free, why am I not there where i want to be?I don't have to board a bus or a matatu to a certain place but indeed there is a destination.
There are limiting factors that restrict me to get where i want to be but if i was giving you advice I would say "If you really want to get there ,go!"I should get going there anyway i could but something else is what keeps me in bondage here.Fear.I know i have to do what i have to do but everytime I want to get moving , the questions set in fueled by fear and an element of doubt."what if i fail ...or fall...what if i don't fly...what are they going to think?"All these and things that i shouldn't give a damn about and then find a shady excuse not to perform.
Fear disables me from going after what i desire, the unseen obstacle between me and the realisation of my dreams.Courage is what i need, what i don't have.It's the ability to take a risk and just do it regardless of the what ifs.It's not going to be easy as abc to embrace courage which isn't a commodity that you get in the supermarkets' shelves, it isnt popeye's spinach .Courage is strength and fear is the exact opposite...weakness.But human beings are full of flaws and weaknesses unlike God so apart from seeking divine intervention how do i get this instinct that will get me there?The answer is insanity. If sanity reminds me that I am human and I have weaknesses , I say what the heck!What about me and where i want to be?
When you focus all your energy on getting where you want to be and forget everything else that is standing in your way ,you will get there.When you wake up this morning and block your mind of anything else but doing it and actually do it , you will have achieved that true independence that, true freedom.We claim to be free but so many things hold us down like pursuing careers that you didn't chose for yourself or hanging out with people you would rather not.What's stopping you from being comfortable with your life?Are you a prisoner underneath ?What you need to do is be free and that much craved for liberty will not come on a silver plate.Go for it!Claim your space in the heavens among the brightest of stars.

FREE

2006-07-20T02:50:00.000-07:00

I'm living in the past
and one thing is a must
to break lose of this spell
thats keeping me here, this fear
yes i fell inlove with living in the bubble
had no guts to jump over the hurdle
Doubt took away my ability
and left me with disability
I'll get through this, my mind is set
counting on the One above
this hell, am living in fear
this spell thats keeping me here...

Free is where i want to be
nipeni mabawa
let me sail in the sky above
free is where i wanna be
freedom is the power
and all i want to be is free

welcome y'all to where i get the guts to burst the bubble and jump the hurdle
the debut of my soul's expression, so buckle up everybody
Let me take you on a journey that costs no money
Nuru's self discovery